Daddyhunt Blog Posts from January 2009

January 30, 2009
Category: Site News

I'd like to introduce myself to you. My name is Carl. I have been part of the Daddyhunt team for years now, working closely with Chris and Walt as we shaped and built Daddyhunt. As Chris and Walt depart the Daddyhunt team, I am sincerely grateful for their unique contributions to our spectacular success. Our goal will remain the same as it has always been. We are determined to build the biggest and the best internet community for Daddies and their Admirers, men of all ages, all nationalities, and every race.

To keep pace with our amazing growth, we are investing heavily in the infrastructure of Daddyhunt. Next month we will be moving to newer and faster servers, and we are hard at work on a new version of Daddyhunt (Daddyhunt 2.0.) This new version will have chat and a host of other features for our members and supporters. We hope you will help us make this site even more exciting by contributing your comments, suggestions and stories to our exciting new blog.

I have learned so much from this amazing community. So often people speak of the negative aspects of the online world, but through Daddyhunt's members, I have witnessed the Internet's power to improve people's lives. One man described to me how Daddyhunt "saved his life." It provided him a way out of his shell after the loss of his lover. Another man told me that he met his life partner on Daddyhunt. Countless long-term relationships (marriages included) began as an innocent "grope" on Daddyhunt.

As we move forward, we want to be even more responsive to the needs of our...

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January 30, 2009
Category: Relationships

Any gay man who has ever dared give his heart to another man in a loving relationship has likely had his heart broken at one time or another. Breaking up with a lover has been one of the most painful experiences of my adult life. As I have aged (I'm now 55) the experience seems to get more painful each time. In this article I want to share one method of emotional healing a friend shared with me when I was in the throes of breakup blues.

One feature of suffering is morbid rumination about what you have lost. Grief can become paralyzing, sapping your energy and draining the pleasure from activities that you used to enjoy. You might isolate yourself, sleep or eat more or less than usual, become fearful of loving again, resort to alcohol or other drugs, engage in emotionally empty casual sex, and perhaps even entertain thoughts of suicide.

When I was nearly immobilized with grief after the breakup of a fifteen-month relationship, an Internet friend mailed me his well-worn copy of a book entitled Water Bears No Scars, by David K. Reynolds, Ph.D. The book describes a form of psychotherapy developed by a Japanese psychologist named Morita combining some features of Western psychotherapy with principles of Zen Buddhism. As in many Western therapies Morita Therapy encourages clients to be aware of their feelings. The key difference in Morita Therapy from many Western modalities is using feelings as indicators of constructive action rather than as ends in themselves. An essential principle in this therapeutic model is that when you mindfully engage in constructive...

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Chris Turner
January 24, 2009
Category: Site News

As many of you know DaddyHunt was started by the company Pantheon Productions, LLC.  I founded Pantheon Productions in 2002 with the vision of creating an online community for daddies, bears and admirers.  Along the way, my friends Carl and Walt became partners in the business and have helped to develop different aspects of the company.  Walt has worked with me primarily on the video side of the business and Carl on developing and running DaddyHunt.

As the business has grown and changed we’ve decided that it is necessary to split off the personals business (DaddyHunt) from Pantheon Productions.  Carl will be taking over full responsibility for the DaddyHunt business under a new separate company.  Walt and I will become the sole partners in Pantheon Productions, LLC and will continue to run our video production company and HotOlderMale.com.  These changes will take effect in late January.

It saddens me to step down from my role in helping to run DaddyHunt.  I’m very proud of what we’ve developed.  I have received so many wonderful messages from members over the past few years who’ve told me that they’ve met partners on the site, or had some great dates, or met friends, or just that they enjoy the friendly community they find on DH.  As many of you know, I met my husband through these personals, so the DH community is something that I have a great fondness for. 

So we leave you in...

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Kirk Read
January 19, 2009
Category: Dating

Kirk,

I have always had to envision a scene from a porn flick in my head to get off, with every guy I've ever been with. I've talked to therapists about why I can't get off just on the present situation and the person I'm with.

A lot of times, I'm with someone who isn't physically attractive to me, but some aspect of their personality, or their voice, or their touch turns me on. So I watch a hot scene I've pulled up while we're having sex to get off. I thought it would be helpful to have porn going while having sex with someone- not to distract me from the sex I'm having, but more of a focusing tool, (a little ADD here,) and a mood setter. But I'm always afraid to ask for fear of insulting a sex partner.

Sadly, I've barely had the opportunity to be with a guy with whom I find really physically hot. This would be the bodybuilder, muscle boy types, And while I am muscular, and attractive and hot to many non-muscle types -  the muscle men I like don't find me attractive. There's probably some esteem issues mixed in there to.

Any advice? Is it OK to be fantasizing about porn while I'm having sex with a guy. Would you be insulted if I turned on porn while we were having sex?
 
Dear Porno King,

Sorry to start off with a crass, potentially offensive generalization, but my experience of therapists is that when it comes to sexual advice, you’re...

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January 16, 2009
Category: Wellness

Aside from my years of involvement with weight training and other fitness activities, I have been practicing meditation in one form or another for over 40 years. Although meditation techniques and the philosophies that underlie them may differ greatly, meditation in general involves quieting the body and mind to achieve a state of peaceful alertness in which one can experience deep insight into the nature of self and the universe. However, the peace, clarity, and sense of meaningfulness of life that come with regular practice of silent meditation can seem to evaporate as soon as you open your eyes and enter the workaday world.

When I started teaching public high school back in 1984, I also started exploring ways to carry the benefits of silent meditation into my work life that often seemed stressful and hostile to serenity.

Two ancient traditions that in general have regarded meditation as an important spiritual practice for millennia are Hinduism and Buddhism. Both traditions offer us various models for bringing greater serenity and centeredness into daily activities. You need not subscribe to any dogma or belief system to benefit from some of these techniques. You need only possess an open mind and the willingness to use your own body and mind as laboratories for experimentation and discovery.

Much of mental stress in...

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Frank Strona
January 14, 2009
Category: Health

Every so often I think about sexual health and how, as gay men, we have become so focused on STDs that we forget that as we age other things happen to our bodies, and specifically our dicks, unrelated to STDs.

A few that I’ve spent some time looking into recently are Peyronie's disease and Priapism, both of which affect our dicks and can be a rather uncomfortable and perhaps embarrassing conditions. Yet I rarely hear about them, so until I started reading up on it at the request of a pal I was pretty much in the dark as well.

Since I’m not a medically trained professional, I certainly can’t diagnose and these are just my personal thoughts  but I figured I’d share some highlights that I found and a few links to that I thought useful.

Peyronie's disease

Peyronie's is essentially a tissue condition that involves an abnormal curve upwards in the penis. Now, before you all start looking at your dicks, many of us have some slight curve in one direction or the other as a normal condition. What is distinguishing for Peyronie’s is that it can cause pain, and an extreme abnormal curve when erect. In some cases a shortening of the length can occur. During the early stages of Peyronie's, pain is...

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R. Jackson
January 13, 2009
Category: Gay Culture

In a real-life case of the controversial 2005 children’s book about gay penguins, And Tango Makes Three, a male penguin couple in the Polar Land zoological park in Harbin, northern China, that last month were separated from their colony for stealing eggs from straight couples, has been given some of their own to look after, and now are being praised as model parents.

The flightless male birds were segregated after they were seen placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their fertile eggs. Zookeepers said the couple were removed from the group not because of discrimination, but so as keep the colony tranquil during hatching time.

Dismayed visitors complained it was unfair to ostracize the couple and prevent them from becoming surrogate fathers, and urged the zoo to give them a chance at daddyhood. In response, zookeepers gave the prospective fathers two eggs to hatch “from another couple whose hatching ability had been poor, and they've [the male penguins] turned out to be the best parents in the whole zoo.”

“One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs,” stated a zoo worker. “Despite the fact that they can't have eggs naturally, it does not take away their biological drive to be a parent.”

...

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Kirk Read
January 12, 2009
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

I’m an older, average-looking bear who’s attracted to young, beautiful muscle studs. I haven’t had sex in a long time, because there just aren’t any guys that turn me on that are into me. I wish my standards weren’t so high, but I just can’t bring myself to be more attracted to other types of men. I had a sweet, decent looking skinny young guy come onto me recently and I really wanted to try and pick him up, but I was afraid that it just wouldn’t work for me. How can I open up my attraction to younger men that are just average, like me?

Dear Average Joe,

You have the kind of cooties that a lot of people have. Not just gay men, either. Tons of people are fixated on unrealistic standards of beauty. You’re not alone in this. There’s no harm in being attracted to muscled young hunks, but if it’s to the exclusion of everyone else, you’re writing yourself a prescription for misery.

I think we are disturbing our capacity for sexual attraction by constantly immersing ourselves in porn that features only guys with the kinds of bodies that we find exhilarating. Whether our trip is hairy bodies, masculine guys, muscle guys, skinny twinks, blondes, Asian men, African American men, Latino men…it’s great to have things we like. It’s not so great to be confined by our narrow checklists.

...
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January 9, 2009
Category: Health

It doesn't require too much imagination to think of situations where greater flexibility would confer a great advantage. (I'm thinking of myself on my back with my feet next to my ears, for example…) Men often avoid flexibility training either because they hold the ridiculous notion that it is just for women (Remember Jane Fonda in tights?) or that it is just not as sexy as pumping iron or sweating on a treadmill. Stretching does involve a certain degree of sustained discomfort, however slight, and without the sex appeal of cardio and weight training flexibility training is all too easily skipped over.

This is unfortunate because one cannot claim to have a complete fitness program without doing some flexibility training. This kind of training is important for everyone to speed recovery from other forms of exercise, reduce the duration and severity of delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS), and improve your versatility in a variety of situations. It becomes especially important as our bodies age because greater flexibility means less likelihood of injury in even normal, everyday activities.

We used to think that stretching should be done before weight training as part of a warm-up routine. However, research has shown that deep stretching of muscles actually reduces their ability to contract strongly, and...

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Walter Smith
January 8, 2009
Category: Politics

A recent study has shown that African-Americans in California were far less supportive of proposition 8 -- which banned gay marriage in California in Novemer - than originally believed, but still more supportive than several other groups.

The study by Patrick J. Egan, Ph.D., assistant professor of politics and public policy at New York University, and Kenneth Sherrill, Ph.D., professor of political science at Hunter College, CUNY, under the auspices of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute shows that while exit polls indicated Black voters supported Prop 8 by nearly 70 percent, they in fact supported it by about 58 percent.

The study looked at pre- and post-election polls and conducted a sophisticated analysis of precinct-level voting data from five California counties with the highest African-American populations (Alameda (Oakland), Los Angeles, Sacramento, San Diego and San Francisco). Based on this, it concludes that the level of African-American support for Proposition 8 was in the range of 57-59 percent.

Egan said, "Party identification, age, religiosity and political view had much bigger effects than race, gender or having gay and lesbian family and friends."

According to the San Francisco Chronicle...

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