Daddyhunt Blog Posts from April 2010

It was around Midnight and aside from a string of dim lights placed equidistant along the path, only the full moon above illuminated the “Landing Strip” that went from the center of the facility up into the darkness where campsites were tucked into every nook along the way. On the gravel dirt path I heard the crunching of heavy boots kicking up dirt and there, in the moonlight, I saw the familiar shine of metal catching the natural light, and the outline of black leather harnesses, masks, and chaps could vaguely be seen in the relative darkness of the night as guys left the party that had just transpired. I got a feeling from this moment, and thought that despite so many of us being under that same moon at that moment, not many were experiencing what I was. It was something private, something special, and something undoubtedly gay. Unbridled gay. And yet what I took away from that moment was the thought… how long is this going to last?

I’m in my early 30’s, so I definitely missed the heydays of leather fetishism, but as I got into my late twenties I met more guys into the leather scene and found it to (mostly) be the opposite of the dark and dangerous lifestyle it claimed to be. Leatherman were some of the nicest guys I came across, and the taboo it held as I came up in the more cocktail-sipping lounges of the early millennium dwindled. But it’s always been fun for me, nothing more than the equal to an outrageous club-kid outfit versus serious fetish. And when I go to a leather event I see that the majority of the guys are older, with a couple younger...

This month, our very own Big Daddy and DH Founder was selected for the Advocate's prestigious "Forty Under 40" issue, an annual list of gay activists, artists and leaders making a difference. Carl is featured with City Council Member Robert Garcia, the lead singer of the Scissors Sisters, Jake Shears and "Biggest Loser" hot-trainer-from-hell, Jillian Michaels - along with 36 other out-and-proud young men and women working to mold our world for the better.

Carl Sandler
38 / New York City
Founder, DaddyHunt.com

Its name may seem salacious, but Carl Sandler says his five-year-old dating website, DaddyHunt.com, is tamer than one might expect. “The whole idea of being a ‘daddy’ is owning your age. It’s a playful use of the word rather than some old-school concept,” he says, alluding to a connotation that means something akin to silver fox. Averaging a quarter million unique visitors a month, DaddyHunt is not for the money-hungry and their older admirers, Sandler says, but rather anyone who values maturity over abdominals. That definition includes younger guys seeking older men, older men seeking younger men, and the over-40 set looking for partners their own age. “My generation needs a place online that isn’t just about hooking up,” he says. So, is there a definitive age when a man crosses over from “hunter” to “daddy”? “I’m not a person fixated on a certain role,” Sandler says. He’s...

I have had the privilege of sharing my life with two different dogs during two different eras of my adult life. It doesn’t feel right to say I owned these dogs, for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who looks a beloved dog in the eyes and sees clearly another sentient being looking back at you with an expression that might be quizzical, adoring, or might reflect wisdom beyond our understanding. In any case it is clear the dog is its own person, so to speak, with its own motivations, thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires. The dogs owned themselves without doubt, and I have been fortunate to be their caretakers as well as being the recipient of their generous attention and care.

The first dog I brought into my life was a young, female Rottweiler I adopted from the animal shelter. Looking back I can see that a Rottweiler was a perfect dog for the somewhat insecure young, gay man I was, as her sturdy build and characteristic markings complemented the masculine image I was eager to project. When we walked down the sidewalk together, people often crossed the street in fear. You would never mistake me for a frightened sissy with such a fearsome beast under my control. She was as gentle a being as I’ve ever encountered, however, and she always greeted visitors as if they were long-lost friends. She had a deep-throated warning bark that sounded so fierce, my brother nearly jumped out of his skin one night when he came creeping into my house late in the dark. But even when neighbor children teased her relentlessly through the screen door at the front of the house,...