Daddyhunt Blog Posts from October 2010

With Wednesday's post about the return of the masculine man came a lot of interesting comments about what it is to be a man. So I ask, what makes a masculine man?

Is it the way they carry themselves? Their actions? Their smell? I inadvertently made it seem like all it takes to be masculine is a hairy chest, but that's not the case at all. I think we all have different ideals about what it means to be a man, probably because we've all led different lives and been taught different things. Across cultures the idea of masculinity differs greatly, and yet at its core there are inherent similarities.

And then of course there's the penis, which has been intrinsically tied with being a man since the dawn of time. And with good reason, by definition it's what makes us men. And yet, we have transgendered men who weren't born with penises at all. I've always wondered if we were forced to walk the earth naked if the most powerful men would be the ones with the largest penises. I say this because to some, power is what makes a man masculine and in many cultures power is in the penis.

Now add to all this the fact that as gay men, we've struggled to counteract the notion that being gay makes you less of man. We took it so far that now archetypes of the past (the mustache, muscled up, beefy look) are now largely associated with gay culture. But with the blurring of gender roles over the years, is masculinity even relevant anymore? It would seem that with the fluidity of just about everything in our lives these days, it's really not anymore.

Whether it's...

Could it be? Could it finally be that after nearly 2 decades, the masculine man is making his triumphant return to popular culture? If this NYT article and the runways they speak of are any indication, a new dawn is here and I for one am delighted.

At age 21 I decided to quit the full body manscaping business and I haven't looked back since. I've been adamant about keeping my scruffy face and hairy body for years now, even at a time when it was frowned upon by so many of my friends and gay peers. I've never been into twinks nor I have I ever wanted to be one, which is why it was always so frustrating to see fashion magazines bursting with them. The pale, hairless, often times androgynous models do nothing for me. Looking back through the 60s, 70s and even the 80s it was these men, the ones with mustaches and big tufts of chest hair that really did it for me. They were men in every sense of word, and I always wondered why at a certain point we started to looking to boys as the supposed epitome of sexiness.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand our cultures obsession with youth and beauty; it's existed long before it could be verbalized. But to me, the over-groomed, pristine baby-faced guys never really seemed like men at all. Give me a man who isn't afraid to embrace all that he is and all that he's given and you'll awaken something in me that's primal and truly visceral.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that masculinity is on the...

We've all been there. You've just broken up with someone, or been dumped, or realized you were barking up a very sexy, but very wrong tree and realized you need to move on in a big way. Realizing is one thing, but actually doing something about it is quite another. And as is usually the case, it's easier said than done. Distance and time is the most effective remedy, but it's also the hardest one (who has that kind of time?). So in an effort to speed up the process here are some other ways to help you heal that terribly itchy heartache.

Out of Sight, Out Of Mind

Similar to the 'distance and time' method, quitting a guy cold turkey is one of the most effective ways to get over someone in that it takes some time. This entails a complete cut off from your former flame, which means no phone calls, no texts, no facebook stalking, no friendly coffee catch ups, no contact whatsoever for a predetermined period of time. Of course you can't block them from your brain or prevent them from popping up in the wild, but by eliminating everything you can control, that man will be washed right out of your hair in no time. And the best part is, once your man-cleansing is complete you're free to start or resume a friendship with him from wonderfully solid footing.

Find Someone New

Another one of the more effective ways to help erase those pesky residual feelings is to start dating someone else. Starting to meet other people and discovering what's out there is great way to take your mind off things (I know this great dating site with a...

Looks like a lone judge has done what Obama and Congress have been unable to do. U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillip's issued an injunction today that would stop enforcement of the now 17-year-old 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. The U.S. Department of Justice can of course appeal the ruling (they have 60 days to do so), but they're also under no obligation to.

Here's hoping Obama and Co.'s egos don't get in the way and let this stand. Obama has been a champion of having Congress resolve the issue, but with the possible change over in party seats the odds of that happening could get even slimmer.

Let's all give a big army salute to Judge Phillips today.

New York Times Article