Daddy See, Daddy Say
Who knew studying Craig's List Missed Connections could be so fascinating? This week The Village Voice interviewed Ingrid Burrington, who has been processing the self made serendipity of Missed Connection ads into viable data. Her findings are pretty interesting, like that Equinox gyms are cruisier than New York Sports Clubs, and include pie charts and maps of the most common places and phrases found on the site. The world of missed connections is interesting all on it it's own, so to have someone doing in depth analysis on the posts makes for a good read.
There was a time in my life when I would go out into the world, see a guy I was attracted to, stare, debate, overthink, and ultimately do nothing about, only to regret it for days at a time. Didn't matter if it was at a gay bar, on the street, or at a party, the result was always the same: days of beating myself up about not making a proper move. Which is why I depended so heavily on Craig's List Missed Connections to do the rest, but rarely were my posts ever answered. One day I wised up and took the MTA's terrorism slogan to heart: see something, say something.
Whenever I'm out now and I see someone I'm attracted to, I force myself to go up to this person and at the very least introduce myself. Whether I bomb, make an impression, or the conversation ends right after hello, I know that I took control of the situation and at least tried. For the longest time I was so terrified to go up to people fearing rejection. And while that fear still lives within me, I take comfort in the fact that 90% of the guys I want to talk to feel the same way. Most of the time we go out hoping that someone will have the balls to come and say talk to us. Not only is it an instant relief when they do, but it makes them come off as confident and self-assured which is always an attractive quality. Perhaps if we all "see something, say something" when out and about, maybe they'll be more connections to be made and less to be missed.
What's your take on approaching guys? Is it easier to take action or is missed connections the way to go?