I’m all about giving people a chance. Things happen, people have off days, and I guess at the very core of it, I believe that people are inherently good. But at a certain point, no matter how badly you want something to work, you’ve got to put you first. How many times have you given someone you're dating a pass or two when they’ve done something you don’t agree with? Whether it’s calling you back, blowing off plans, or even cheating on you, there are a lot of red flags that we all seem to easily forgive. Once forgiven, it sends a pretty clear message that it’s acceptable behavior and that there’s a lack of respect that will ultimately play a larger role in the relationship. Now I’m talking about the very minor to the very major when it comes to the types of things that we’re all willing to accept, but they all yield similar results.
A friend of mine recently showed up for a date in which the man he was seeing showed up with two unexpected friends. But instead of staying and being part of a date night that was not what he had in mind, he simply told the guy that this wasn’t what he envisioned and that he was going to head home. My initial response was that my friend overreacted and his actions were a little extreme. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how it important it is to be clear about what you’re looking for, what you want, and what you’re willing to accept. And you know what? The guy called him later that night to apologize and realized that he wasn’t being very respectful of their original plans.
It’s no big secret that I’ve been...
