Wellness Posts

As I've gotten older my holiday wish list has slowly shifted from the material to the spiritual. I remember looking forward to the must have gifts during Chanukah and having a list of wants that far surpassed the standard 8 days of gifts. But as I've gotten older, there's not really many things I need to have, or rather, not many things I would want people to buy for me. Maybe it's because if there's something that I really want, I can get it myself, but I'd like to think that getting older has made me more about the gift of self improvement. And especially at the holiday time, I like to recognize the things I'm most thankful for.

This is not to say that I wouldn't love a new computer or 7 new pairs of jeans, a new winter coat, the $600 sweater I saw at Ralph Lauren, and fun new underwear. I still want all those things, but in a weird way, putting things like health and happiness on my list seem more realistic to me. Finding true love, that's on the list too, but whether that come this holiday season or the next, making myself good and ready for it is probably the best gift of all in the long run.

But you tell me fellas, as you've gotten older, have the things you've wanted most in life been more or less material?

No one wants to die alone. To think that we won't be surrounded by friends or family in our last years, days, or minutes, is a pretty unsettling thought for most. But for many elderly gays, this is exactly what they experience. With partners passing before them, little to no familial contact, and in a nursing home where friends are scarce, the fate of our gay golden years doesn't sound so heavenly. The New York Times posted a piece by gay geriatrician, Manuel A. Eskildsen, about a patient of his, a gay man in his late 90s, who recently passed away. For this man's generation, and to a degree the generations surrounding him, the luxury of coming out and leading a full, rich gay life was never really an option.

We've talked about growing older as a gay man on here before, but it's something that isn't really top of the list for many. What would be great is if there was a way for these older gentlemen to connect to each other, or better yet for us younger and able gentlemen to seek them out and visit when possible. But as Dr. Eskildsen notes, "The task is complicated by the fact that these men and women may be all but invisible to us. Even people who were able to come out may find themselves retreating into the closet when they are forced to move into...

Several weeks ago I shared a revelation with a friend: that one day in the future, I won't have a beard. He asked me why not, and I told him that I couldn't have a beard forever. Since graduating high school I've had varying styles of facial hair ranging from finely groomed stubble to a poorly formed goatee. For me, having facial hair was born mostly out of laziness and an abhorrence for shaving. I suppose my Russian and Hungarian genes played a part in this as well, given that my family is made up of mostly hirsute men. When I'd begun experimenting with beard lengths a few years back, it seems I unknowingly entered into what some people are calling a "Postmillennial He-Man Beard Epoch." The writer in the aforelinked article worries about the trendiness of beards and thinks the death knell may be right around the corner. This frightens me for many reasons, the most pressing being, it's gotten to the point where I dislike the way I look without a beard. I've felt nakedly boyish the few times I've had to clean shave it these last few years and it's not something I particularly enjoy. Of course, it's all fleeting and it grows back, but one day it might have to be a full time thing.

I think for me it's less about being on trend or off, and more about the flexibility to change up my look every few years. That was never a problem before, but as my hairline recedes and the hair itself thins, there'll be less and less to work with...

Nudity is in folks. Not that it was ever out, but it seems like naked outings are certainly gaining traction around the world. Today alone I've come across two articles about nudist activities: one toting nude hiking and the other nude biking. Add to that the nude beaches of Spain that I encountered last week and it's coming at me from all ends. Nude bathing has been around since forever, but these other, more sporty nudist options seem to be new and getting noticed.

With gay hiking becoming an exciting and popular adventure in Germany, Switzerland is now in the process of getting it approved by their Supreme Court. World Naked Bike Ride (which is this weekend in most parts of the Northern Hemisphere Northern Hemisphere for those who have their birthday suits and bikes ready), has cities from all over the world participating. I'm not sure either activity would be particular comfortable what with all the plants and bugs and bike seats up in your junk, but whether you like look or like to flaunt, there's something pretty exciting about this nekkid outdoorsy fun. With public nudity being so unfortunately alarming in our day to day lives, it's kind of refreshing to know that people are shedding their clothes and inhibitions in new and exciting ways.

What say you on the public and active nudity front? Do you wish there were more...