Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

It’s bad enough sometimes competing with single friends when landing a man, but what happens when you’re forced to compete with your coupled friends as well ? With gay relationships becoming more and more fluid and open about their, well, openness it’s put an interesting quandary at the center of gay friendships: who gets first dibs? As a single man myself, I’m obliged to take the single man’s position first and foremost, which is to say coupled friends should always yield to their single friends. The truth of the matter is, singles shouldn't have to compete with their boyfriended friends for other single guys even if it ends up just being a hook up. With two single guys, there will always be potential for more and that alone should inspire the coupled friend to back off. Open relationships, seeking a third or seeking to play alone, should really only be looking for something supplement to their, what should already be, stable and healthy relationship. Looking for something more sometimes means looking for trouble.

Then again, if it were two single friends competing for the same man’s attention, it would seem that all’s fair in love and war. As I try to look at things from all angles, my only understanding of how a case could be made for the couple is if the object in pursuit chooses the couple over the single. Which is to say, they’re not into you and are looking for some threesome fun. This whole scenario is based off of friendship, so really if you’re a good friend it would make sense that you’d want to offer the singletons every possibility afforded to them...

It seems like just yesterday I was a Black Party Virgin, and yet when talking with friends recently, I found myself sounding like an old pro. That first leather cherry pop was only 2 years, but I've been in love with the party ever since. I'm not a huge fan of circuit parties, but there's something incredibly freeing and special about The Black Party that seems to attract the best mix of men. Doesn't hurt that there's a barely there dress code and the party leaves you feeling horny and wild for weeks (even months) after.

Last year I was able to check out the Black Party Expo for the first time and realized how much fun that could be too! It's like a little leather/fetish carnival with all kinds of tricks and treats. And with all the vendors they have, it's okay to wait for the last minute to decide what you want to wear. Our friends Charlie Harding and his partner Scotty Rage will be working the MISTER booth on Saturday from 12pm - 3pm. Charlie was the winner of the MISTER Model Contest Folsom Edition and is also nominated for "Best Daddy" at The Hookies (which is held Friday night at Roseland). They'll be giving out a limited number of free MISTER hats to men that show the MISTER app on...

MR. Chris Butler is this week’s Real Man We Admire.

Who says cartoons are strictly for Saturday mornings? If Chris Butler is involved, we want them every day of the week! The handsome British-born animator has had his hand in some of the coolest animated movies around, including “Coraline,” “Corpse Bride,” and, most recently, the Oscar-nominated “ParaNorman,” which is heralded as the first mainstream animated children’s movie to feature an openly gay character.

“Some adults were outraged,” he told GLAAD, “but they were also the kind of adults who just sat through an hour and a half of story explaining why intolerance can be so damaging and cruel. I think the younger audience happily embraces it without question. There's nothing quite so refreshing as seeing a kid accept something wholeheartedly because they don't share the baggage of their parents!”

While the movie didn’t take home the big prize on Oscar night, it’s got another shot at this year’s GLAAD Media Awards, where it’s up for Outstanding Film. Win, lose, or draw, we can’t wait to see what he does next.

Mitch, the gay jock from "Paranorman."
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What's the first quality you look for in a man? Is it physical attraction or a trait that takes a bit more digging? It's so easy to go on looks alone these days with online dating/apps expediting the selection process and courtship a thing of the past. It's almost like we're programmed to make a split section decision on what we see in front of us and if we're not into it we move onto the next. Having more options is a great thing, but as with any give, the take is that we may miss something really special. Getting to know someone takes effort and the things that ultimately make a relationship work aren't always visually apparent. So what's one to do? Rearrange our priorities.

I'll be honest, my first instinct is to start chatting with someone (on here or in real life) if I'm attracted to them. But when I think about what I'm looking for in a relationship, looks fall down the list quite a bit. Now I'm not saying I don't need to be attracted to someone, because that's mega important, but I've realized that attraction can grow and fade based on feelings that stem from incredible personality traits like humor and intelligence. The problem I think many of us face today is that we're not willing to put in the work to get to know someone. It's easier to take the Seinfeldian approach and dismiss people based on circumstantial flaws, not meeting a height requirement, or any other molehill made mountainous. But finding a really stand up guy takes work and time. And it's those qualities buried deep that usually last the longest, because as we all know, looks fade.