Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

Last month, CEO Carl Sandler visited London and loved the guys he met there. Not only were they handsome, natural, and oozing sensuality, but many had this modern artistic flair. Everyone seemed to be creating something - big or small. And East London was especially brimming with energy. That's one of the reasons we chose to throw our first International MISTER Launch Event there - right in the heart of East London at this beautiful photo studio/event space.

We asked DJ Borja Peña (pictured) to help us do the event and he, and event producer Wayne Shires, went wild - enlisting DJs from across Europe and filling a second room with awesome London-based talent. They pulled in performance artists like John Jon to amp up the funky. Then Borja told us, "We have to have porn star strippers. It's got to feel sexy." OK. Check. "Can you make MISTER boxers? Old school - like in (the movie) 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith'." Done. It's been fun.

We wanted to pull back the curtain on this sexy Spanish Londoner so we went hunting for some of his stuff online. We found this totally bizarre, yet uncontrollably erotic video. He teamed up with DJ TOM STEPHAN (also spinning at the MISTER event) to create the music. Foxy. Jam to the beats in the...

Raise your hand if you're a fan of therapy. Don't be embarrassed. Raise them up. Personally, I think everyone on the planet should be in therapy. But that's never going to happen. Truth be told, there are plenty of people out there who are in therapy and are still fucked up and fucking up others lives. But for many, it can help you gain control of your life an relationships in ways you never thought possible. Whether you believe in the practice or not, these professional do know people. And in knowing people they know what it takes to make a good relationship. This list of the 10 characteristics of successful relationships from therapist and author Lisa Kift is particularly useful when evaluating your own relationships:

1) Friendship: Couples who have a strong friendship have staying power. They not only love each other but genuinely like each other as people. They enjoy hanging out together. They might even consider each other their “best friend.”

2) Humor: Partners who can make each other laugh tend to be good at de-escalating conflicts when they do arise. It’s the great mood lightener. I’ve noticed the use of funny nicknames can be an indicator of great fondness for one another. The names often stem from a “you had to be there” moment from the beginning of their relationship.

3) Communication: As obvious as this may seem, many couples are not very good at it. Those who are able to openly...

We've talked about this a few times this year, but I'm continually amazed at how much more open we are about discussing what it means to date and have sex in an HIV+ world. It's been an ongoing conversation, but what's beginning to change is the way in which we're talking about it. The stigma of having HIV, both within our own community and the world at large, is shrinking by the day. Due in part to the candor from both sides that we've seen in the media and the ever changing face of HIV medications. Big Daddy Carl, has written an incredibly thorough article over at the Huffington Post about pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, which, when taken daily by an HIV- person, can reduce the risk of transmission to that of using a condom.

There are many things to consider when you look at the merits of something like PrEP, which Carl outlines explicitly, but it begs the question of why this information isn't more readily available to the public. Let's face it, there will always be risk when it comes to gay sex, but would something preventative like taking a pill everyday make you feel safer? Or as a community that has been indoctrinated with the importance of condom use, are condoms the one and only protection against HIV? In an ideal world we'd all be using condoms and taking PrEP, but as you'll read there are obstacles preventing that from happening at this point in time.

I urge you all to ...

"I still hope we can be friends." Famous last words after you've had your heart broken. And whether they mean it or not, it's an interesting choice that we're all presented with. The decision of course is relative to each and every relationship. It might depend on how long you've been together, how bad the breakup was, and ultimately, time. For many it's hard to switch off your feelings and dive straight into a friendship. On the other hand, it can be a seamless transition if both parties romantic feelings have mutually dissolved. But usually that's not the case, and when a heart breaks they don't break even. For me, if friendship is truly something you want after a break up, "out of sight, out of mind" has always been the best course of action. To reset and recalibrate your feelings from romantic to friendly, time and distance help to heal things quicker. It's when friendship is pushed so soon after that things start to get messy and awkward. And depending on how badly you've been hurt, those wounds need time to heal. And every attempt at being with your former lover without being able to hold them or kiss them or touch them just makes the hurt sting that much more. But the good news is, that if friendship is truly in the cards it can be something quite beautiful down the line. After all, any relationship worth having should have friendship at it's core and intimacy shared is something that's never really lost.

Have you been able to be friends with your exes? And if so, how soon after? What helped you move forward as friends?