We all never forget the first time we lose our virginity. And gay men are lucky enough to have TWO virginities lost in their lifetime. You have a choice between which one you want to lose first, and you can never really tell who is going to chose what. It is either enter the manhole, or push-in the cushion… I totally remember both vividly.
But there are a small fraction of guys that seem to be outwardly proud that they’ve never (and never will) let a stallion into the stable. Total Tops? Gimme a break.
See, I think there is a misconception that ye-who-only-enters is somehow more masculine, and dominant than the man that’s receiving. First, I have certainly come across some of the manliest men I know that know how, and love to, take it good and long. Second, I think that this mindset is really just a vestige of straight relationship models. It aims to basically mimic what most of us grew up with… one man, one woman, two roles, both different. But in a male homosexual relationship there is no woman, you’re two of the same being that can, given our bodies, both give AND receive. It’s not as simple as lock and key.
I’ll be honest, I’ve gotten a message or two from guys that right off the bat hit me with some variation of “I’m going to fuck you like crazy.” No “hello,” no “wow you’re handsome” first… just “this is how I’m going to do it to you.” In ALL of these...