My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 6 months and we’re talking about opening up the relationship so that we could have a three way. We’re both a little jealous, but I’m more jealous than he is. I’m twenty years younger than him and the three way thing was his idea, which makes me wonder if he’s losing his attraction to me. I’m scared he’s going to be more attracted to some younger, hotter guy. Plus, we’re attracted to totally different guys. How could we possibly settle on a single guy? Do we take our ideal ages and average them together?
Do 3 Bees Make Sweeter Honey?
Dear Reluctant Swinger,
OK, I’m going to risk pissing off the entire gay movement here by saying that this whole business of marriage and monogamy is contrary to our nature. While being gay is genetic, having a single mate for the rest of your life, or even for a certain period of time, is a choice. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing to be monogamous. Monogamy can be a great way to bond with someone or a container wherein you can increase intimacy. I support monogamy when it’s a conscious choice, but I resist it when it’s the expected default setting.
We grow up surrounded by guilt and shame when we are attracted to people outside of a primary...