Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

Kirk Read
January 5, 2009
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

While I have enjoyed many wonderful encounters from this and related sites, ones that cater to an older/younger audience, I sometimes feel that I am either misleading or dishonest.  Recently, I met a young man and we began an email conversation.  He always referred to me in his mail as "sexy daddy" and we ultimately met.  Now, I realize he only wanted a "daddy" type for play, nothing more and I can deal with that. Yet, I find I am not comfortable with the daddy label for myself even if it accurately describes who I am, especially in the eyes of the young.

I have many friends in long term relationships who are of the older/younger milieu and who are completely happy together.  When I am around them, I sense how right they are for each other even when separated in age by 30 years or more.  Nevertheless, I so often feel that I am not a real person in their eyes but one they have conjured up that suits their fantasies.   In short, I don't need to be real---just OLD

I understand the attraction, the chemistry aspects of any sexual allure, and my fondness for younger guys never wavers.  I would appreciate your thoughts and any suggestions of how I may alter my profile to be more accurate about my tastes.  I tend to have a way with words---perhaps all the wrong ones!

Dear Uncomfortable Daddy,


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Walter Smith
January 3, 2009
Category: Politics

New laws passed in Australia in November mean widows of war veterans in that Country can apply for pension benefits. The new laws come as a result of a ruling by the United Nations' Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights in the case of Edward Young of Australia.

According to an article in The Age, Young's partner of 38 years, Larry Cains, served in the Australian Army in Borneo during World War II. The two met in London in 1960 when Cains was a photographer and Young a model.  "He was desperately handsome," Young said, "we spent two weeks together and I told him I wanted to spend my life with him."

Edward Young  Photo: Peter Rae/ The Age

Young's battle began 10 years ago with the death of his partner.  Young applied for the pension only to be told that he and Cains were not a legally recognized couple under the Veteran's Entitlement Act.  The UN court ruled in his favor in 2003, saying Australia breached the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, but the government of then Prime Minister John Howard held out on reviewing Mr. Young's case.

A spokeswoman for...

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Walter Smith
January 2, 2009
Category: Politics

Edwin Cameron, openly gay and HIV positive, has been appointed as a judge to the Constitutional Court of South Africa, the highest court in that Nation.   Judge Cameron becomes the first openly gay man or woman ever appointed to any nation's highest court.  The appointment came from South African President Mothlanthe on Wednesday.

A former Rhodes Scholar and human rights lawyer, Judge Cameron is the co-author of several books, including Witness to AIDS, a memoir on his experiences as a person living with AIDS.

Last summer, Judge Cameron addressed the International AIDS Conference in Mexico, arguing that homosexual sexual conduct should be decriminalized throughout the world, as a necessary step in fighting AIDS.  He elaborated the argument in a scholarly paper co-authored withwith Scott Burris.

We're always thrilled here at DaddyHunt when another mature gay man opens a new door for the rest of us.  Let's hope we see more gay men and women leading our world courts (and legistures and...

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December 31, 2008
Category: Dating

Ready to join DaddyHunt but confused by all the terminology?  Don't be.  Here’s a step-by-step, straight-shooting and to the point guide, that will hopefully uncover some general truths while de-mystifying the DaddyHunt application process. Remember, Daddy knows best, so pay heed.


Country, State/Province, City/Town, Zip/Postal Code:
Let's assume since you were savvy enough to find DaddyHunt and get to the profile application, you'll likely find little challenge here. Next!

How Do You Describe Yourself?:
The choices are "Daddy" and "Hunter".  Here's how they break down:

Hunter = Younger Top, Looking for Daddy and/or Bottom (any or all of these)

Daddy = Hairy Top, Businessman, Older for Younger, Daddy in Training and/or Older for Older (again, any or all of these)

Personally, I’ve found it’s usually easier to just think: "Hunter"=Bottom" and "Daddy"=Top. The exceptions will make themselves known.

Birth Date:
Most people on other sites lie by a couple of years, on average. Just remember, whatever birth date you put will reflect an automatically calculated age for you on your profile. I used to fudge it by 2 years or so....

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Kirk Read
December 30, 2008
Category: Relationships

Dear Kirk,

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 6 months and we’re talking about opening up the relationship so that we could have a three way.  We’re both a little jealous, but I’m more jealous than he is. I’m twenty years younger than him and the three way thing was his idea, which makes me wonder if he’s losing his attraction to me. I’m scared he’s going to be more attracted to some younger, hotter guy. Plus, we’re attracted to totally different guys. How could we possibly settle on a single guy? Do we take our ideal ages and average them together?

Do 3 Bees Make Sweeter Honey?

Dear Reluctant Swinger,

OK, I’m going to risk pissing off the entire gay movement here by saying that this whole business of marriage and monogamy is contrary to our nature. While being gay is genetic, having a single mate for the rest of your life, or even for a certain period of time, is a choice. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing to be monogamous. Monogamy can be a great way to bond with someone or a container wherein you can increase intimacy. I support monogamy when it’s a conscious choice, but I resist it when it’s the expected default setting.

We grow up surrounded by guilt and shame when we are attracted to people outside of a primary...

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R. Jackson
December 29, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

When I was half my current age, say 25, my beard was mostly dark brown with black and freak red and blonde hairs thrown in. Nowadays, pushing 50, my beard color runs what I call the full spectrum of gray — from dark brown to blonde and frosty red to silvery white, more dark hair than light still, in a facial hair pattern that some call a vanDude, with sideburns cut on the diagonal.

Let’s call it a van Dyke. Goatee works too. It’s thick along my chin in the places it’s not shaved, as of this writing about an inch long off the chin. Nowadays I don’t shave but every few days though I sometimes go for weeks without trimming anything. I enjoy being scruffy, and it’s a sexy look, but I still shave and trim my facial hair, though my work doesn’t require it, for various personal reasons.

The main reason I shave the sides of my chin is to keep the two sides symmetrical. I have a smooth triangular patch along my left jawline where hair won’t ever grow back. The hair follicles were burned out from radiation treatment for cancer five years ago, and the skin is bare but clean and healthy. I miss growing a full beard but I gratefully sacrificed it for being cancer-free.

So the vanDude style suits me, because I can shave enough of the right side of my face to even it out, and the section on my left side that doesn’t even need shaving also saves time and Barbasol shave cream.

Still, there...

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December 26, 2008
Category: Health

Winter holidays invite us to gather with friends and family for unusually sumptuous meals. Even strict dieters can and should take holidays from eating "clean," bodybuilder lingo for maintaining a relatively low-fat, controlled-carbohydrate, nutritious diet. Some foods are good for your body, but some holiday foods are especially good for the soul. A single meal or day of meals alone need not derail a fitness program as long as you don’t let overindulgence become your regular dietary style after the holidays.

Mature men tend to put on more body fat more quickly than younger men, so overindulgence can produce undesired effects more quickly than when we were younger. The main two reasons are lower levels of activity and of testosterone. Assuming you don’t have a physical ailment or disability that prevents you from vigorous exercise, your activity level is largely a choice.

Some people "pay" for their overindulgence by feeling guilty. This can be an insidious, unconscious way to avoid doing anything really effective about getting back in shape. The unconscious dialogue goes like this: "If I feel guilty enough, I don't have to think about a diet or exercise."  Ditch the guilt and just return to healthier habits.

The components of physical fitness—maintaining a sensible, sustainable diet along with regular exercise—are well...

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Frank Strona
December 25, 2008
Category: Sexuality

Editor's Note: The gifts are all open, and maybe a few of them are a little naughty.  Now what?  He're are 10 tips to better sex starting today and for the new year.

Ok – we all know that sex is a normal and natural part of who we are... or at least we should know that. Here are my top 10 tips to keep sex fun as we start a new year!

1)    Know what you want!  If you want “warm fuzzies” and someone to wake with up in the a.m., then cruising the internet or your local sex club might not be the right place. On the other hand, if all you want is to have some hot sweaty sex – get yourself to the place that best fits your cruising style.

2)    Reread and rewrite that profile. Most of us forget to review and update our profiles. Shake it up. Look for boring language.  Stuck for an idea? Ask a sex buddy or pal to offer a few suggestions.

3)    Ask for what you want! Figure out what kind of sex is turning you on today.

4)    Read a dirty story together or rent a video by a new producer.

5)    Expand your horizons; get creative with where and when you have sex. It doesn’t always have to be after hours. Try some “Love In the Afternoon” or before breakfast.

6)     ...

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Walter Smith
December 24, 2008
Category: Entertainment

Oh, Santa Daddy, Oh Santa Daddy
bring that white beard to me.
Let it brush upon my nipples, my armpits and my knees.

Santa Daddy, Oh, Santa Daddy
uncut, I’m sure, and hung.
I lie in bed and dream of you
your taste upon my tongue.

Oh, Santa Daddy, I know how naughty I have been.
These impure thoughts fill my nights
and are how my days begin.

It’s not the suit (entirely)
though I confess a fondness for red.
Not just the beard, nor jolly belly
that urge me to your bed.

I only know a kiss from you
is present all I need.
No toy, no candy necessary
just your breath to feed

and I will pass another year
knowing you have been near
my Santa Daddy, Oh Santa Daddy
I sleep with such visions dancing...

image from

M. Christian
December 23, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Editor's Note:  It's two days from Christmas and we take a moment to remember all those men and women who are no longer with us because of the ongoing AIDS epidemic and to acknowledge these small gestures of their memory.

It may have taken 14 years to erect but New York City finally has a granite bench with a view of the Hudson.  Sure it doesn't sound like much, this little bench, but what it stands for is very special.

The inscription reads "I can sail without wind, I can row without oars, but I cannot part from my friend without tears" and that bench is New York City's AIDS Memorial.

Even though you might not be in The City That Never Sleeps take a moment to think about those who have gone, and thank NYC for their granite gesture of support.