Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

Kirk Read
January 12, 2009
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

I’m an older, average-looking bear who’s attracted to young, beautiful muscle studs. I haven’t had sex in a long time, because there just aren’t any guys that turn me on that are into me. I wish my standards weren’t so high, but I just can’t bring myself to be more attracted to other types of men. I had a sweet, decent looking skinny young guy come onto me recently and I really wanted to try and pick him up, but I was afraid that it just wouldn’t work for me. How can I open up my attraction to younger men that are just average, like me?

Dear Average Joe,

You have the kind of cooties that a lot of people have. Not just gay men, either. Tons of people are fixated on unrealistic standards of beauty. You’re not alone in this. There’s no harm in being attracted to muscled young hunks, but if it’s to the exclusion of everyone else, you’re writing yourself a prescription for misery.

I think we are disturbing our capacity for sexual attraction by constantly immersing ourselves in porn that features only guys with the kinds of bodies that we find exhilarating. Whether our trip is hairy bodies, masculine guys, muscle guys, skinny twinks, blondes, Asian men, African American men, Latino men…it’s great to have things we like. It’s not so great to be confined by our narrow checklists.

...
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January 9, 2009
Category: Health

It doesn't require too much imagination to think of situations where greater flexibility would confer a great advantage. (I'm thinking of myself on my back with my feet next to my ears, for example…) Men often avoid flexibility training either because they hold the ridiculous notion that it is just for women (Remember Jane Fonda in tights?) or that it is just not as sexy as pumping iron or sweating on a treadmill. Stretching does involve a certain degree of sustained discomfort, however slight, and without the sex appeal of cardio and weight training flexibility training is all too easily skipped over.

This is unfortunate because one cannot claim to have a complete fitness program without doing some flexibility training. This kind of training is important for everyone to speed recovery from other forms of exercise, reduce the duration and severity of delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS), and improve your versatility in a variety of situations. It becomes especially important as our bodies age because greater flexibility means less likelihood of injury in even normal, everyday activities.

We used to think that stretching should be done before weight training as part of a warm-up routine. However, research has shown that deep stretching of muscles actually reduces their ability to contract strongly, and...

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Walter Smith
January 8, 2009
Category: Politics

A recent study has shown that African-Americans in California were far less supportive of proposition 8 -- which banned gay marriage in California in Novemer - than originally believed, but still more supportive than several other groups.

The study by Patrick J. Egan, Ph.D., assistant professor of politics and public policy at New York University, and Kenneth Sherrill, Ph.D., professor of political science at Hunter College, CUNY, under the auspices of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute shows that while exit polls indicated Black voters supported Prop 8 by nearly 70 percent, they in fact supported it by about 58 percent.

The study looked at pre- and post-election polls and conducted a sophisticated analysis of precinct-level voting data from five California counties with the highest African-American populations (Alameda (Oakland), Los Angeles, Sacramento, San Diego and San Francisco). Based on this, it concludes that the level of African-American support for Proposition 8 was in the range of 57-59 percent.

Egan said, "Party identification, age, religiosity and political view had much bigger effects than race, gender or having gay and lesbian family and friends."

According to the San Francisco Chronicle...

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Walter Smith
January 6, 2009
Category: Gay Culture

We don't mean to suggest a secret bromance between straight author John Irving and gay writer Edmund White, but in a recent interview, Irving called White's book A Boy's Own Story far superior to The Catcher in the Rye.

"We're the same age, and I remember when I first read A Boy's Own Story—in the early 1980s—and I thought that the novel spoke much more to me about a boy coming of age (even though it's about a gay boy coming of age, and I'm not gay) than The Catcher in the Rye ever did. I reread The Catcher in the Rye recently, and it doesn't hold up at all; it's just not very well, or...

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Kirk Read
January 5, 2009
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

While I have enjoyed many wonderful encounters from this and related sites, ones that cater to an older/younger audience, I sometimes feel that I am either misleading or dishonest.  Recently, I met a young man and we began an email conversation.  He always referred to me in his mail as "sexy daddy" and we ultimately met.  Now, I realize he only wanted a "daddy" type for play, nothing more and I can deal with that. Yet, I find I am not comfortable with the daddy label for myself even if it accurately describes who I am, especially in the eyes of the young.

I have many friends in long term relationships who are of the older/younger milieu and who are completely happy together.  When I am around them, I sense how right they are for each other even when separated in age by 30 years or more.  Nevertheless, I so often feel that I am not a real person in their eyes but one they have conjured up that suits their fantasies.   In short, I don't need to be real---just OLD

I understand the attraction, the chemistry aspects of any sexual allure, and my fondness for younger guys never wavers.  I would appreciate your thoughts and any suggestions of how I may alter my profile to be more accurate about my tastes.  I tend to have a way with words---perhaps all the wrong ones!

Dear Uncomfortable Daddy,

...

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Walter Smith
January 3, 2009
Category: Politics

New laws passed in Australia in November mean widows of war veterans in that Country can apply for pension benefits. The new laws come as a result of a ruling by the United Nations' Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights in the case of Edward Young of Australia.

According to an article in The Age, Young's partner of 38 years, Larry Cains, served in the Australian Army in Borneo during World War II. The two met in London in 1960 when Cains was a photographer and Young a model.  "He was desperately handsome," Young said, "we spent two weeks together and I told him I wanted to spend my life with him."


Edward Young  Photo: Peter Rae/ The Age

Young's battle began 10 years ago with the death of his partner.  Young applied for the pension only to be told that he and Cains were not a legally recognized couple under the Veteran's Entitlement Act.  The UN court ruled in his favor in 2003, saying Australia breached the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, but the government of then Prime Minister John Howard held out on reviewing Mr. Young's case.

A spokeswoman for...

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Walter Smith
January 2, 2009
Category: Politics

Edwin Cameron, openly gay and HIV positive, has been appointed as a judge to the Constitutional Court of South Africa, the highest court in that Nation.   Judge Cameron becomes the first openly gay man or woman ever appointed to any nation's highest court.  The appointment came from South African President Mothlanthe on Wednesday.

A former Rhodes Scholar and human rights lawyer, Judge Cameron is the co-author of several books, including Witness to AIDS, a memoir on his experiences as a person living with AIDS.

Last summer, Judge Cameron addressed the International AIDS Conference in Mexico, arguing that homosexual sexual conduct should be decriminalized throughout the world, as a necessary step in fighting AIDS.  He elaborated the argument in a scholarly paper co-authored withwith Scott Burris.

We're always thrilled here at DaddyHunt when another mature gay man opens a new door for the rest of us.  Let's hope we see more gay men and women leading our world courts (and legistures and...

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Jay
December 31, 2008
Category: Dating

Ready to join DaddyHunt but confused by all the terminology?  Don't be.  Here’s a step-by-step, straight-shooting and to the point guide, that will hopefully uncover some general truths while de-mystifying the DaddyHunt application process. Remember, Daddy knows best, so pay heed.

GENERAL INFORMATION

Country, State/Province, City/Town, Zip/Postal Code:
Let's assume since you were savvy enough to find DaddyHunt and get to the profile application, you'll likely find little challenge here. Next!


How Do You Describe Yourself?:
The choices are "Daddy" and "Hunter".  Here's how they break down:

Hunter = Younger Top, Looking for Daddy and/or Bottom (any or all of these)

Daddy = Hairy Top, Businessman, Older for Younger, Daddy in Training and/or Older for Older (again, any or all of these)

Personally, I’ve found it’s usually easier to just think: "Hunter"=Bottom" and "Daddy"=Top. The exceptions will make themselves known.

Birth Date:
Most people on other sites lie by a couple of years, on average. Just remember, whatever birth date you put will reflect an automatically calculated age for you on your profile. I used to fudge it by 2 years or so....

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Kirk Read
December 30, 2008
Category: Relationships

Dear Kirk,

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 6 months and we’re talking about opening up the relationship so that we could have a three way.  We’re both a little jealous, but I’m more jealous than he is. I’m twenty years younger than him and the three way thing was his idea, which makes me wonder if he’s losing his attraction to me. I’m scared he’s going to be more attracted to some younger, hotter guy. Plus, we’re attracted to totally different guys. How could we possibly settle on a single guy? Do we take our ideal ages and average them together?

Do 3 Bees Make Sweeter Honey?

Dear Reluctant Swinger,

OK, I’m going to risk pissing off the entire gay movement here by saying that this whole business of marriage and monogamy is contrary to our nature. While being gay is genetic, having a single mate for the rest of your life, or even for a certain period of time, is a choice. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing to be monogamous. Monogamy can be a great way to bond with someone or a container wherein you can increase intimacy. I support monogamy when it’s a conscious choice, but I resist it when it’s the expected default setting.

We grow up surrounded by guilt and shame when we are attracted to people outside of a primary...

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R. Jackson
December 29, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

When I was half my current age, say 25, my beard was mostly dark brown with black and freak red and blonde hairs thrown in. Nowadays, pushing 50, my beard color runs what I call the full spectrum of gray — from dark brown to blonde and frosty red to silvery white, more dark hair than light still, in a facial hair pattern that some call a vanDude, with sideburns cut on the diagonal.

Let’s call it a van Dyke. Goatee works too. It’s thick along my chin in the places it’s not shaved, as of this writing about an inch long off the chin. Nowadays I don’t shave but every few days though I sometimes go for weeks without trimming anything. I enjoy being scruffy, and it’s a sexy look, but I still shave and trim my facial hair, though my work doesn’t require it, for various personal reasons.

The main reason I shave the sides of my chin is to keep the two sides symmetrical. I have a smooth triangular patch along my left jawline where hair won’t ever grow back. The hair follicles were burned out from radiation treatment for cancer five years ago, and the skin is bare but clean and healthy. I miss growing a full beard but I gratefully sacrificed it for being cancer-free.

So the vanDude style suits me, because I can shave enough of the right side of my face to even it out, and the section on my left side that doesn’t even need shaving also saves time and Barbasol shave cream.

Still, there...

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