Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

December 26, 2008
Category: Health

Winter holidays invite us to gather with friends and family for unusually sumptuous meals. Even strict dieters can and should take holidays from eating "clean," bodybuilder lingo for maintaining a relatively low-fat, controlled-carbohydrate, nutritious diet. Some foods are good for your body, but some holiday foods are especially good for the soul. A single meal or day of meals alone need not derail a fitness program as long as you don’t let overindulgence become your regular dietary style after the holidays.

Mature men tend to put on more body fat more quickly than younger men, so overindulgence can produce undesired effects more quickly than when we were younger. The main two reasons are lower levels of activity and of testosterone. Assuming you don’t have a physical ailment or disability that prevents you from vigorous exercise, your activity level is largely a choice.

Some people "pay" for their overindulgence by feeling guilty. This can be an insidious, unconscious way to avoid doing anything really effective about getting back in shape. The unconscious dialogue goes like this: "If I feel guilty enough, I don't have to think about a diet or exercise."  Ditch the guilt and just return to healthier habits.

The components of physical fitness—maintaining a sensible, sustainable diet along with regular exercise—are well...

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Frank Strona
December 25, 2008
Category: Sexuality

Editor's Note: The gifts are all open, and maybe a few of them are a little naughty.  Now what?  He're are 10 tips to better sex starting today and for the new year.

Ok – we all know that sex is a normal and natural part of who we are... or at least we should know that. Here are my top 10 tips to keep sex fun as we start a new year!

1)    Know what you want!  If you want “warm fuzzies” and someone to wake with up in the a.m., then cruising the internet or your local sex club might not be the right place. On the other hand, if all you want is to have some hot sweaty sex – get yourself to the place that best fits your cruising style.

2)    Reread and rewrite that profile. Most of us forget to review and update our profiles. Shake it up. Look for boring language.  Stuck for an idea? Ask a sex buddy or pal to offer a few suggestions.

3)    Ask for what you want! Figure out what kind of sex is turning you on today.

4)    Read a dirty story together or rent a video by a new producer.

5)    Expand your horizons; get creative with where and when you have sex. It doesn’t always have to be after hours. Try some “Love In the Afternoon” or before breakfast.

6)     ...

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Walter Smith
December 24, 2008
Category: Entertainment

Oh, Santa Daddy, Oh Santa Daddy
bring that white beard to me.
Let it brush upon my nipples, my armpits and my knees.

Santa Daddy, Oh, Santa Daddy
uncut, I’m sure, and hung.
I lie in bed and dream of you
your taste upon my tongue.

Oh, Santa Daddy, I know how naughty I have been.
These impure thoughts fill my nights
and are how my days begin.

It’s not the suit (entirely)
though I confess a fondness for red.
Not just the beard, nor jolly belly
that urge me to your bed.

I only know a kiss from you
is present all I need.
No toy, no candy necessary
just your breath to feed

and I will pass another year
knowing you have been near
my Santa Daddy, Oh Santa Daddy
I sleep with such visions dancing...

image from

M. Christian
December 23, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Editor's Note:  It's two days from Christmas and we take a moment to remember all those men and women who are no longer with us because of the ongoing AIDS epidemic and to acknowledge these small gestures of their memory.

It may have taken 14 years to erect but New York City finally has a granite bench with a view of the Hudson.  Sure it doesn't sound like much, this little bench, but what it stands for is very special.

The inscription reads "I can sail without wind, I can row without oars, but I cannot part from my friend without tears" and that bench is New York City's AIDS Memorial.

Even though you might not be in The City That Never Sleeps take a moment to think about those who have gone, and thank NYC for their granite gesture of support.

Kirk Read
December 22, 2008
Category: Relationships

Dear Kirk,

My husband and I are getting ready for another Christmas. We’ve been together 5 years and we’ve never had a good Christmas. He always gets depressed during the holidays thinking about his first lover, who died  in 1987 when I was in middle school. I feel like he hasn’t let go of  him. I grew up in a house where Christmas was a happy time. I want my husband to wear a Santa suit and get into the spirit of it all.

Dear Santa's Neglected Elf:

I’m sure your hubby would look hot in that Santa suit, but Christmas is a complicated time of year. The sunlight has disappeared and people are chemically depressed. It’s a good time to take an amino acid supplement to help your brain. Drink a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar each day to balance out all the holiday sugar. An 85 year-old friend taught me about vinegar. It works.

You and I are part of a younger generation who barely missed the ravages of the AIDS epidemic. We’ll never know what it was like to have a mysterious plague come in and wipe out loved ones. It was a holocaust. There are times I get overwhelmed by my partner’s nostalgia and memories. But I’d much prefer that he keep these loved ones alive in his heart – he’s a deeper and kinder man because of the epidemic.

It actually makes sense to be reflective during the holidays. There’s a...

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M. Christian
December 20, 2008
Category: Politics

Editor's Note: As we get nearer to Christmas day, we thought we'd look at things to be grateful for this year and say thanks.

It might be his age -- after all the General is getting to be well into his warm daddy-ness -- or it could be his happiness to finally be looking at an administration that understands (finally) that sexual orientation has nothing to do with a person's ability to serve in the armed forces, but Colin Powell has stepped into the spotlight to openly say the the U.S. Congress should re-evaluate "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

We need more leadership like this in our Country and so to you, General, we say: "Thank you, Sir!"


Frank Strona
December 19, 2008
Category: Health

Editor's note:  Frank got such a great response to his post on STDs that we decdided to let him answer one of the key questions people asked in a new post.

A reader asked me about syphilis. It appears he is having a debate with a couple of people about it and is hoping I can settle it for them.

One person thinks that if they catch it early, then only one penicillin shot is what is needed. Another says that it doesn't really matter WHEN you catch it. You should get all three, especially because there is no way of knowing WHEN you actually got it.
This is a great question actually, especially with syphilis rates increasing in many major cities in the United States.

The reader hit on a complicated and confusing area of syphilis.

According to Dr. Jeff Klausner, who heads up the San Francisco DPH - STD section, you are both in the right area, but here is the simple explanation.

If someone finds out they have an early case of syphilis, then the treatment is one dose of medicine given by two injections in the butt (one in each cheek).

If they are unable to tell if it is an early case, then the recommended treatment is 3 doses of medicine given out over three weeks.

This is why it is pretty important that sexually active gay men, have a routine syphilis test every 3 – 6 months. It...

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Chris Turner
December 18, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Mike Doherty got the idea for The Complete Bear ( while shopping in Tahoe with his partner, or "husbear" as he calls him.  The woodsy and bear-themed products got him thinking and the rest is bear history.

The Complete Bear, founded in 2006, aims to provide the bear community with a single source for fine bear accessories (for the bear, his cub, and their den).  They search the globe for the world's elite brands and select the top gifts, apparel, accessories, grooming items and home furnishings.  They also have The Twisted Bear, which celebrates the leather life in bear style.

In this interview with Chris Turner, founder of Daddyhunt, Mike talks about his inspiration for the Complete Bear as well as his not-so-secret celebrity bear crushes.

Chris:    So how did you get the idea to start The Complete Bear?

Mike:    Husbear and I were up in Tahoe, I was shopping of course!  I loved all the rustic bear stuff and the rest is bear history

Chris:    I know you have a couple different main sites... The Complete Bear and Twisted Bear. Can you tell us a bit about each of those?

Mike:    The Complete bear is for the bear, his cub...

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M. Christian
December 17, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Well, guys, the answer is in and the answer is --  "The French."

What?  You actually want to know the question?  Okay, then: What European Union country's male population, statistically, has the longest and the thickest ...well, let's just say the longest and the thickest?

Now we're the first to accept the results of a well-thought-out and fully-documented study, especially one conducted by the very-official sounding "Institut fuer Kondom-Beratung" (whatever that means) but in the interests of fully supporting their findings we are simply going to have to insist on some further -- and very hands on -- research.

According to the researchers, French flag poles are, on average, 6.1 inches long and 5.4 inches around.  The Brits, by comparison, rise to a height of 5.2 inches and have a girth of 4.5 inches, on average.

Does it matter?  Probably not, but interesting nonetheless.  Perhaps interesting only in our never-ending fascination with penis size.  For more on this topic, read R. Jackson's post on the DH Blog.

R. Jackson
December 16, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

President Abe “Log-splitter” Lincoln, who shared a bed with Joshua Speed for five years, was asked, “How long should a man’s legs be?” and replied, “Long enough to reach the ground.” A 1960s-era party joke riffed on that: “How large should a man's erect penis be?” to which the answer was, “Long enough to reach the ground.”

So let’s ask in all honesty: What size dick is big enough for you? Are you satisfied with your size? Why or why not? Do you have a different standard for the men you have sex with than for yourself?

Don’t tell me you never think or talk about these things. The obsession with dick size is infused in gay/bi men’s lingo (“size queen”) and omnipresent in queer men’s culture. Gay and especially bisexual men are stereotyped as oversexed — that is, as always wanting sex — but along with this common misconception is the idea that they’re also all well hung.

A  recent vodka ad run on the back cover of several gay men’s mags displays a metal ruler with each inch mark marked 8. Their press release stated that the display ad takes “a humorous look at gay men and their fascination with perfect, eight-inch ‘member’ measurements.”

Of course, if eight...

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