Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

July 8, 2013
Category: Relationships
Gay Men Relationship Status

Has this ever happened to you: meet a guy, flirt a bunch, exchange numbers, make plans to meet...and then find out he has a boyfriend. Sadly, it happens more than it should. With couples in different arrangements and singles with different objectives navigating the pick up water can be difficult. I'm of the belief that if there's clear interest from one party, the other is obligated to bring up the boyfriend (in some way) within the first interaction. I'll even give a little leeway here and say the first two interactions given how hard it can be to weave that point in naturally. In chatting with some coupled friends though, they believe that they're not obligated to reveal a boyfriend. Claiming that they've often been met with attitude or anger in the assumption that they were even hitting on them and that often times conversations are struck up for the sake of conversation and/or friendship. We decided that there's no hard and fast rule when it comes to this, but that it really should be a case be case basis. That being said, I still believe that it should be worked in fairly early on to set the stage of the forthcoming interactions.

But what say you, how soon in should a person reveal their relationship status?

July 2, 2013
Category: Sexuality
Gay Men Sexual Walkabout List

We all have our bucket lists. That ever growing lists of things we need to complete before we die. Whether it be bungee jumping or visiting Fiji, there are plenty of action items we need to "check the box" on before we can consider our lives fully lived. But what about our sexual lives? There are so many things to explore when it comes to our own sexual fulfillment and often times we let the years (or relationships) pass by before ever completing them. As Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock* exemplified, we all need a sexual walk about before we settle down with someone. A sexual walkabout is similar to a bucket list, in that it's an opportunity to do all the things you've ever wanted and/or discover what you're truly into. For some, it really is a checklist. A friend of mine wanted to make sure he tried every "flavor" of man and explored every ethnicity before he settled down with the man he'll soon be marrying. It's about getting things out of your system so you're never left wondering one day what you've missed. For others, it really is a sexual exploration to figure out our very complex desires and learn what turns us on. With so many fetishes and situations in which to have sex, truly understanding what makes us light up the most in bed can be long journey. In some ways, it's more about being open to what's out there and not limiting the possibilities of what makes our dicks tick.

A sexual walkabout (or even awakening) can happen at any age and I encourage each and every one of you to take one yourself. As long as you're safe (and have your partner's blessing...

Read more
June 24, 2013
Category: Gay Culture
Gay Men PDA Holding Hands

When you're at an event that's 95% straight men and women, the last thing you'd expect to see is two men being affectionate towards one another so openly. Or at least that's what I had come to believe. But there I was, in Dover, Delaware no less, where not one but several gay couples were holding hands, each other, and dancing affectionately with one another in a sea of heterosexuality. It was at the Firefly Music Festival where the atmosphere was decidedly young and fratty that my mind was blown at how these young gays were so open and nonchalant about their public displays of affection. It was actually pretty amazing and gave me a lot of hope for the future. Because no one batted an eye as the couple waiting for food held each other and placed a few loving kisses on one another neck till their nachos were served. Or while in midst of another group of guys two young lovers started making out shirtless with one another. Now it's one thing to be in a predominantly straight venue, but when it's fueled by alcohol you really do never know what kind of reactions could be triggered which is why I'm generally in the camp of being cautious with PDA. My friends and I were a little in awe of these young gays in their early 20s and their unabashed confidence in being gay. Just another reminder at far we've really come in ways we don't think about often.

Do you find that, as this next generation comes of age, younger gays are more open and affectionate in public?

June 16, 2013
Category: Gay Culture
Gay Daddy Celebrities

Well boys, we did it. We're officially a trend. Or so says New York Magazine. In their article "Rise of the 'Daddies': A New (and Sexy) Gay Niche", they explore the growing popularity surround the term "daddy" and the type of guys associated with it. But to all of us, who have been on this site for years or sought it out more recently, we know the myriad of joys that come with being (and being attracted to) daddies. Articles like these come and go, and if it gives more attention to the daddy crowd I'm all for it, but I just want to be clear that "the rise of the 'daddies'" is not a new and growing trend. And more importantly, it's not something that's going anywhere either. It's always been a part of our community and I'd venture to say it always will be. And I'm thankful for that.

This article does echo something this community and blog have been pointing out for years, which is that "daddy" can mean any number of things depending on who you talk to. So if this article makes someone feel more secure with the moniker or allow them to really own who they are, then that's what I'll call progress.

What do you think about the article? Is the daddy world one that's growing in popularity? And, just for ol' times sake, what is your definition of a daddy?

Official MISTER
June 14, 2013
Category: Gay Culture
Yigit Pura Gay Pastry Chef

MR. Yigit Pura is this week's Real Man We Admire.

We're all about a nice set of "cakes," but what really makes us melt quicker than tempered chocolate is a guy who can bake one from scratch. It's a recipe that this week's Real Man We Admire, Yigit Pura, has down pat. Not only is this openly gay pastry chef one delicious dish, he's also making some pretty sweet moves when it comes to supporting the LGBT community.

Reality-TV fans no doubt recognize this baking beauty as the winner of the first season of Bravo’s “Top Chef: Just Desserts,” where he showcased his expertise in the kitchen and his ability to create all sorts of mouth-watering morsels with just seconds to spare. It’s a talent that took shape while growing up in Ankara, Turkey, and later honed at some of the country’s finest restaurants, including Le Cirque 2000, Daniel, and the Four Seasons Hotel. Since taking that culinary crown, he's gone on to become one of his industry’s most sought-after chefs and personalities, opening the hugely successful Tout Sweet Pâtisserie in San Francisco’s bustling Union Square neighborhood and penning his first-ever cookbook, Sweet Alchemy, which will hit bookstore shelves later this year.

Pretty impressive stuff for someone who’s just 32 years old, but it’s Pura's commitment to the community that’s truly the icing on the cake. Over the years, he's worked to promote a number...

Read more
Official Daddyhunt
June 11, 2013
Category: Gay Culture
Father's Day Gifts Gay Daddy

Father’s Day is this weekend, but why should biological dads get to have all the fun? Gay daddies deserve to be celebrated, too, so we're officially renaming June 16 Daddy's Day in their honor! To help you give the big daddy in your life the extra-special day he deserves, we've come up with five great gift ideas you probably won't read about anywhere else.

Leather Daddy

leather daddy sheets

We'd all love to surprise the leather daddy in our life with a bitchin' motorbike. Too bad it would leave most of our bank accounts bound and gagged. Take your daddy for a different kind of ride instead on Nasty Pig's rubber Playsheet! This soft rubber bedspread hold its grip, so you can get busy losing yours. When you're done abusing them, just toss them in the wash. $200-$250; available at

Sugar Daddy

sugar daddy credit card holder jack spade

Cash might be king, but plastic is fantastic (especially when you're not the one getting the bill)! Help your sugar daddy keep his Amex in check with a stylish credit card holder. We love these handsome...

Read more
June 10, 2013
Category: Gay Culture
Celebrate Gay Pride Logo

It's June, which means Pride is in full swing across the land of the LGBT. For different people it can mean different things, some love to go all out and party it up in the parades and at dances, while others take the more low-key route opting to have a few friends over for cocktails and camp movies. However you celebrate, no matter where you live or how Pride has evolved for you or your city, our visibility matters. It's the reason we've come so far in the last several years, and it's important to recognize those that fought (and fought hard) to get us here. And that's plenty of reason to celebrate and revel in all that our community is.

When I was just a wee lad, Pride opened my eyes to the beauty of our community and all that it had to offer. In the 10 years that I've been celebrating, my yearly plans have certainly changed, but that sense of euphoria in being surrounded by thousands upon thousands of men and women who are just like me remains as potent as ever. Marches may have turned into parades, but the spirit of a community united is something that carries on forever.

How do you celebrate Pride? Do you think it's changed over the years for you and your city?

Official MISTER
June 7, 2013
Category: Gay Culture
Scott Norton Gay Bowler

MR. Scott Norton is this week's Real Man We Admire.

It’s not just because his kisses make headlines and his ball-handling skills snatch trophies that we want to roll with this week’s Real Man We Admire, Scott Norton. It’s also because this pro bowling champion is using his popularity to get people to switch lanes when it comes to thinking about equality.

The now 31-year-old was just 18 when he burst on to the bowling scene by winning a string of amateur titles, including becoming the youngest person ever to take the Adult National Amateur Championship. But that was just the first strike in his long list of accomplishments. In 2011, inspired by the coming out of Phoenix Suns President and CEO Rick Welts, Norton did so as well, becoming the first openly gay player in his sport.

"It is extremely important for me to come out to show other gay athletes, both current and future, that it is important to come out to show that we are just like everyone else,” he wrote, in an article published by the Professional Bowlers Association. “Being gay doesn’t define who I am as a person or as a professional athlete…it's...

Read more
June 6, 2013
Category: Wellness
Allure of the Heterosexual Man

Picture a tall, beefy, Jake Gyllenhaal. I've seen this vision every morning at my gym for the past few weeks. Massive arms, massive back, hairy chest, stomach, and a clean cut look to balance it all out. I knew he was straight when I first saw him, but that didn't stop me from striking up a conversation with him about what he was lifting. I figured, maybe, just maybe, I was wrong and he was just shy. Unfortunately for me, we started chatting, he smiled, and that's when I full on fell in love/melted into this meat head. The problem is, he's still straight and there's absolutely no chance that'll change in the near future/ever. And yet, I still find myself lost in the fantasy that every time he works out near me that may change. What is it about straight guys that makes them so damn attractive?

Well, for one they're unattainable. Issue a challenge to any man, gay or straight, and see how hard they fight to win. Then you've got the raw masculinity that so many of these straights exude. Not all, but many. And in a gay world where so many are seeking out "masc" men there's something inherently appealing about a man who need not be questioned about it. Then of course there are the millions upon millions of porn fantasies that have been put upon us all, whether it be a locker room, frat house, or bait and switch scene, a straight guy's first time is just fucking hot.

But the reality is, just as there's no hope any of us will switch teams, you're looking at a dead end. No matter how many beers you fill them with, the challenges that follow wouldn't be easy....

Read more
June 3, 2013
Category: Wellness
Tough Mudder

At the beginning of the year I started to make a list. A list of all the things I wanted to accomplish in my life. No particular order, no limit or fear of thinking big or bold. This is a list that continues to grow as new goals, wants, and achievements pop into my head. This past weekend I was able to cross off the first of many on that list, which is to complete a Tough Mudder race. It's important to note that I do not run. In fact I would venture to say I am a horrible runner and terrible when it comes to activities that require a lot of endurance (save for a few more bedroom minded activities). But I completed the race and all the mud crawling, fire jumping, freezing water diving, wall climbing, electrocution avoiding obstacles that came with it. A few months back I set this goal and started to build up my running endurance. A little here on the treadmill, a jog with a friend in the park; and by the time the race finally came (which ended up being a lot more running that I had even anticipated) I managed to stay with the front of the pack. It helped that the guys competing in this race could motivate just about anyone to chase after them. The hotness and shirtlessness alone was reason enough to be glad I participated. Oof. When I crossed that finish line, the pride and accomplishment I felt in having set a goal and completed it was unlike any other.

I've said that 2013 would be a year of change for me, a year to shake things up...

Read more